Friday 11 July 2014

Graham savaged by wild beast

Kerriann has been trying to persuade me of the advantages of acquiring a small canine friend to accompany us on our journeys around Europe. The tour of the Huskies was part of K’s scheme but it didn’t work – I watched as the semi-wild beasts eyed up the smallest member of our group (a two year old child) with evil intent.  
wild beast close up

Yesterday, after parking, we went to inspect our (free of charge) campsite. Passing the van parked next to us I was suddenly aware of a chained dog lunging towards me – the chain was too long and before I could avoid it the savage beast had sunk its fangs into my leg (well given me a little nip actually). The injuries were so severe that the red mark showed for over an hour. So why would we want our own aggressive animal in the van with us? From what I have observed they smell rather a lot and seem to enjoy rolling in the remains of rotting animals and other unmentionable smelly substances. They leave hairs in the furniture and mud on the floor and they stink when wet.
wild beast alert
Finally they require exercise. Much as I enjoy a good walk, I like to do so on my terms not those of a dog who will probably prefer to be out and about ridiculously early and in inclement weather.
Every morning I have the job of emptying Dickie’s dunny – that is enough for me! The thought of picking up newly laid, warm and smelly deposits from a dog revolts me as does wandering around the countryside with a bag of poo!
Kerriann who, as you may know, always looks on the bright side of life ignores these problems and has developed a ‘small dog noise’. Whenever she sees such a creature she gets excited and says ‘we could have one of those’, and makes a particularly irritating ‘aaaawwwww’ noise.
I will need more convincing.
Luckily Mr Fluffy gets me to check his entries before I put them on the blog so I have right of reply. We have met several extremely cute dogs on our trip, particularly those of the bichon frisée type who do not shed fur and are very lovely of personality. They are small enough to fit into Dickie nicely and would make a lovely smiley face out the window. He is very fond of Stella and Louie (who belong to our friends in Boscastle) and I am still on my mission to add to the Godwin King family. Our next trip over winter may very well have a new addition.
By the way, the lady owner of the slightly nasty animal was very apologetic and took great trouble in coming to our van to let us know Lewis Hamilton had won something. We were extremely grateful for this information and put on the appropriate excited faces, smiling happily at each other with the thrill of this fantastic news. We still have no idea what he has won but the lady seemed pleased that she had made our day after her dog tried to bite Graham’s leg off.
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get big or get out

Whilst wandering through the woods yesterday searching out ancient burial mounds and an old stone labyrinth Kerriann was worried that we would be attacked by the local population of wild bears. I found her a stick for defensive action should such an incident occur. It seemed to comfort her to some extent but she had read somewhere that the best defenc eagainst bears was to ‘look big’ so every 5 minutes our progress was hindered by K raising her arms in the air and attempting to look aggressive. It must have worked as we managed to escape the forest un-injured apart from a few insect bites.
I actually heard a TED Talks about making yourself big in the bathroom before an interview to give yourself confidence. This could be taken a number of ways but actually means you stand with legs spread, arms up and making your body as big/tall as it can be. I think it works as I felt confident I could defend myself against any bears that came my way – especially with my special stick.
 
walking the labyrinth






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